The Mystery of Saying I'm Sorry
Why is it so hard to apologize? I mean, half the time the person has already forgiven us, and most of the other half of the time, they've completely forgotten about the situation. Why does it still kill us to buck up and say "I'm Sorry?"
I had a situation this week where I lost my cool. It was at the end of a day where I felt God had empowered each one of my words and steps, and I felt I could do no wrong. I should've known as soon as I had that thought that I was about to slip up. It reminded me of learning to ride a bike when I was younger. As soon as I told my dad to let go of the seat, I should've known I was headed for the thornbushes.
I had just finished outwardly witnessing to several important members of my life (relationship withheld), and I had gone into the other room (location withheld) for a minute. When I returned, I found several of these important members doing their best impression of the words I had just spoken. I was being flat out mocked. That being bad enough, one of the more prominent members made a comment saying that in my own comments, I was limiting God's power. That statemtent made me jump off the edge.
I raised my voice, and I defended my stance. But beyond that, I completely ruined the testimony I had just shared with them. I left that location and those members with a sinking in my heart that was unbearable. I was restless all night and it was only at work the next day that I realized what had to be done. I had to go right back to those people and apologize.
I was in agony the entire day thinking of the conversation I was to have. I was so scared that I'd make it even worse, and that I'd make it so God could not overcome my messups. But when I got back to the part of the day I spend with those people, the conversation went nothing like I'd imagined. I was hugged and appreciated. Some of them had forgotten it had happened. It was such a relief that our relationships weren't finished. What's even more is that God showed me very soon after that moment that He was not done working there.
I know this is basic, and not very climactic, but let me just say that there is power in admitting we're not perfect. In studying meekness, I learned that only when we see ourselves for who we really are can we be filled with every bit of Christ that His plan entails. All I can say is, Fill Me Up!
To the Brim,
Bobby
I had a situation this week where I lost my cool. It was at the end of a day where I felt God had empowered each one of my words and steps, and I felt I could do no wrong. I should've known as soon as I had that thought that I was about to slip up. It reminded me of learning to ride a bike when I was younger. As soon as I told my dad to let go of the seat, I should've known I was headed for the thornbushes.
I had just finished outwardly witnessing to several important members of my life (relationship withheld), and I had gone into the other room (location withheld) for a minute. When I returned, I found several of these important members doing their best impression of the words I had just spoken. I was being flat out mocked. That being bad enough, one of the more prominent members made a comment saying that in my own comments, I was limiting God's power. That statemtent made me jump off the edge.
I raised my voice, and I defended my stance. But beyond that, I completely ruined the testimony I had just shared with them. I left that location and those members with a sinking in my heart that was unbearable. I was restless all night and it was only at work the next day that I realized what had to be done. I had to go right back to those people and apologize.
I was in agony the entire day thinking of the conversation I was to have. I was so scared that I'd make it even worse, and that I'd make it so God could not overcome my messups. But when I got back to the part of the day I spend with those people, the conversation went nothing like I'd imagined. I was hugged and appreciated. Some of them had forgotten it had happened. It was such a relief that our relationships weren't finished. What's even more is that God showed me very soon after that moment that He was not done working there.
I know this is basic, and not very climactic, but let me just say that there is power in admitting we're not perfect. In studying meekness, I learned that only when we see ourselves for who we really are can we be filled with every bit of Christ that His plan entails. All I can say is, Fill Me Up!
To the Brim,
Bobby
posted by Bobby at 9:04 PM
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