A Broken Bed...A Broken Heart

Okay, so I definitely hesitate to tell this story...but I know that after reading the title, a few of my everyday readers are already in stitches. The rest of you will join soon.

So my mental sleep clock's been messed up ever since I was in California. Even though I failed to sleep the night after the USC game, I still couldn't get to sleep until 3:30 AM on Sunday night. I've been getting in bed early, and staying awake, just staring at the ceiling and using the extra time to pray a lil bit. But it took me all the way until Tuesday night to finally get tired enough to get in bed early. As a matter of fact, it might have been too early.

You see, my body is aging at a rapid pace. In some ways I'm kidding, and in others I'm not (I'm really mad at all the men in my family for the hairloss gene). But outside of feeling like I'm 60 when I get out of bed in the morning, I drink so much water during the course of the day, that I also have to get up once or twice a night to use the bathroom like I will again in a few decades. So anyway, Tuesday night I went to bed at something like 11 o'clock, which put the morning bathroom run at around 3:15 AM. I sat up in bed, hopped myself towards the edge, but when my butt landed firmly on the beam running along the center of my mattress, it happened...

[CRACK!!]

You see, I made my bed frame, and all of the weight distribution came through a central beam...the one I just broke. The entire frame caved in on itself and my big ol' tail landed on a chunk of wood hitting the ground with a sound and a shot of pain not welcomed by many at quarter after three!

So here's what happened. I couldn't get to sleep because my tailfeather was still a bit sore, so after watching a couple infomercials, I went back in to see what had caused the damage. I looked at the edge of the beam which I'd broke to find something interesting. Though on the outside, the wood looked perfect and strong, the beam had rotted on the inside. It was a miracle this hadn't happened earlier, honestly. I am not the heaviest I've been throughout the course of this season, you know.

So that's my story. I guess I could try to tie it in with a spiritual message as I normally do, but I wasn't exactly thinking spiritual thoughts when I almost broke through the floor and landed in my downstair neighbor's bed. Though, now that I think about it, there is something to be said about that piece of wood. How often in life do we put up a front that our spiritual life is something to be admired and modeled after, even when we are truly rotting inside. It's such a huge thing to be held accountable for that in ministry, because that is the perfect example of sin taking over a life. It's not only leading to internal death, but also putting up a wall of pride that will prove just as deadly as the rotting inside. And you never know when it will hit the fan, you never know when the ground, or bed will fall out from under you. I guess there is a challenge in this...a challenge to purify ourselves daily by nailing our sin to the kind of wood that cannot rot, the wood of the Cross.

Looking forward to a good night's sleep on my new bed,

Bobby

Patience people...

This image was made for my new friend Suz. I've never been so pressured to write again and again than I have in the 2 weeks I've known her. I will say that I do appreciate the motivation, but it's still enjoyable to poke fun at the same time. I'm working on a couple sermons I have for next week, but I'll update later!

Bobby

The Son Still Shines...

I woke up this morning far before the sun rose. I was at Panera enjoying my morning coffee around the time it would have shone, had the clouds not been in the way. As I sat there diverting my attention back and forth between the Word and the sky, I came to the dramatic conclusion that the sun had not been dimmed by those clouds, the clouds just stood between my eyes and its brightness. Even on days when the clouds are white, puffy, and looking like rabbits and other cute things as they pass, they still shield the earth from the light and heat of that fiery star.

It's a pretty easy thing to figure out really. It's also the reason I tend to walk behind girls that I'm with, because if I walk in front of them, no one knows they're even there! I totally eclipse them, as the clouds eclipse the sun today. I'm getting off my train of thought...

...So I'm preparing a sermon for the Northern Indiana Fellowship of Christian Athletes banquet next week. FCA's theme this year has been "...For the Glory." So, as I'm studying on God's glory and looking at the clouds, I get this awesome picture of what happens in our lives. You see, when we do things in life, we can do them one of two ways. We can do them with ourselves in mind, glorifying no one else, or we can do them "for the glory" of the One who made us, and no one else.

When we do things in our own name, they may be nice and appreciated, but they remain nothing but clouds. They may be beautiful clouds, floating peacefully to be appreciated by all that see them, but as said before, they block the sun. And our actions, though maybe nice and appreciated, not only glorify ourselves, but they prevent the world from seeing the glory of God in that scenario.

You know, a world without the sun would be cold and dark. There would be no vegetation and therefore, no wildlife. It is nearly impossible to fathom such a place. Yet, so often do we allow the world to attempt to shield itself from the true Light; the Light that burns brighter and hotter than any star placed in the sky.

I'm legitimately burdened by the fact that our nature has taken so much glory to itself that we are not reflecting any of it to the only One who deserves it. But does feeling burdened get anything done? Mmmm....not so much. So here's the thing, I'm setting out to clear the sky, and the movement starts with me. From now on, I want my life to be a magnifying glass, showing the intensity of the Glory of God with every step. I know I'll mess it up. I know I'll soak it in sometimes. But you better believe I'll wake up in the morning looking for rays in the sky because despite the weather and this "lake effect" stuff that goes on in my life, I know that the Son Still Shines behind it all.

Magnify,

Bobby

The Best Part of Waking Up...

...Is Foldger's in your cup. The worst part of waking up in life, is that something bad probably just happened.

Our speaker at fellowship tonight was a man by the name of Josh Canales. A young baseball player who recently left AAA baseball to follow a call to ministry. During his sermon, he recalled a time in a summer baseball league when a foul ball off his bat hit his best friend in the back of the head. Within minutes, the friend was laying on the ground. Shortly after, he was out cold. Before an ambulance could arrive, he was convulsing. The fact is, Josh's friend passed long before we would say his time had arrived.

To answer your question of why he would share this with us, Josh looks at this point in his life as the time when he "woke up" in his life with Christ. He'd been talking the talk for a long time, but it was nothing more than talking in his sleep, because his actions were not lining up with his words...or The Word. He then posed a question that haunts me...

...why do we only "wake up" after catastrophes? Or even better, why do we even fall asleep in our walk with Christ in the first place? I've been there, I've done that...I was too cheap to buy the T-shirt. Man, I don't want to go back. I look back on those days and I'm disgusted. I wish I were looking at another person. Don't get me wrong, I don't regret the road God has taken me on, but I do see the mistakes that forced me on some detours.

I don't know why I even wrote this post other than to say, I am wide awake! Like a hyperactive kid on three Mountain Dews and a NoDoze playing video games. I am excited about God and what He's doing here on earth. I just wanna make sure I never doze and miss something He wants me to see.

You know, if Foldger's in your cup seems good, you need to try getting your cup filled with Jesus. Then you'll be waking up...and you may not need the bad stuff that comes first.

Stay awake!!

Bobby

Cinderella Man

John-boy (my football roommate) and I are sitting here in Pasadena watching "The Cinderella Man" starring Russel Crowe. Herein lies the entire point of my blog post...everything else is off the top of my head. Can I just say I love this movie? I love Russel Crowe in any role, and this is one of the few movies in which I can stand Renee Zelwegger.

I love this movie for so many reasons, but they pretty much all boil in to one defining moment for me. After all the years James J. Braddock put in, his ability and motivation fail him. His punches go soft, his head gets heavy, and he can't win for losing. All he ever knew was being stripped from him with every loss. But he gets a second chance...

You see, with this second chance, Bulldog Braddock starts punishing those who oppose him. Sure his body aches and his ribs still sting, but through the pain, the fatigue, and through the arthritis, he fights with a passion that his manager has never seen from him before. This is where the defining moment comes in. If you remember, he's being interviewed before his big title fight with Max Baer and someone calls him out on his comeback.

"What happened?"
"I just found something new to fight for."
"And what was that?"
"Milk"

Milk...His motivation was the support for his family. Looking into their eyes, he could not live with himself if he couldn't provide the least of such goods to ensure their physical well being. My question is this...if one man (though the story is glammed up by Hollywood) can come from the depths of obscurity, with not even his hands left to hit something, and rise to the top of his profession from looking into the eyes of his children, why can't we rise from obscurity and even death by looking into the eyes of our Father?

I'm walking into the Colliseum tomorrow. I'm not shaken. I'm not even stressed. I've looked upon the face of my God and in Him I am safe and secure. But with that look I derive strength to put forth every bit of physical energy I can exert. Maybe I'll even find a way to give 110%. I may not rise to the top of the game of football, but I know the Lord will look back, and He will be pleased. I only hope reporters may ask me where my newfound strength comes from.

Got Milk? God God?

Bobby

So Thankful for So Much

You know, I was packing for my trip to Southern California when I realized I am over 4 hours into Thanksgiving. Wow, that crept up on me. That being said, I decided to spend a few minutes looking at my life and figuring out what I'm thankful for. I know it sounds dumb to write it on blog...but you're reading it, so be quiet...especially you, Jeff. Haha.

First off, I'm thankful for my Savior. I know it seems particularly "bloggish" to write something like that, but I really am! I mean, I look over my life and I see how completely worthless I am without Christ. It is not a pretty sight. I described it a few weeks ago as a "breath check" when you first wake up in the morning.....ewwww, just not good and there's no hiding from it. No matter what I could ever fathom doing to make it up to God for all my mistakes, I had already sentenced myself to an eternity in Hell. God can't just let sin go unpunished...It has to be paid for. Man, that thought's even worse than the morning breath. But you know what? My God knew the way. He descended into our world to live among us, and then die. You heard it. God, in the form of Jesus Christ died to change the verdict and sentence for those that believe in Him. Now that I'm thankful for. I've been thinking about it so much lately, how awesome it is to know where I'm headed when my time here on earth has expired. But there's more...

...Even living a life with Christ, I still have a tendency to really screw things up whenever I take the wheel from his hands. But God just waits, like a father allowing his child to learn a lesson in a protected environment, He lets me stumble and try to get up, and He's right there when I look up and say, "God, I just can't do it alone." I'm thankful for both of these occurrences. I'm thankful that God doesn't look down upon my past mistakes, and His Love and Grace is enough to wash me clean eternally. I'm thankful He not only allows me to mess up, but then He picks me up when I can't stand on my own. I find that when I find my legs again, they have a drive and purpose that is unlike anything on this earth.

Now, secondly I'm thankful for my families. Haha, yes I said families...plural, because I'm thankful for my church family, my Notre Dame family, my Bethel family, and my biological family.

My church family at Grace Church of Granger has supported me through several of the most trying times of my spiritual life, and without their love and support, I would not be the warrior for Christ that I try to be today. I very well may have fell off the path of righteousness and may have taken to the ways of the world. I'm especially thankful for Pastor Rick and Brent Wood for taking so much extra time to help me through several things, though Brent wasn't the nicest guy when my engagement ended....but I so needed what he gave me. I'm also thankful for my adopted family, the Dunbars. Bob and Linda Dunbar have taken me into their family of 8 and truly cared so much. They are just a shining example of the heart of the members of my church, and I wish I knew a way to repay them for all they've done for me.

My college families at Notre Dame and Bethel have been such a blessing over the past 4+ years. Notre Dame has been a place of constant growth through conflict and testing, and Bethel has been a place of spiritual communication more through the form of discussion and prayer. I would not be the man I am without a few key friends, and I'm truly thankful for Jake, Brady, Mo, Jeff, Jeff, Geoff, Brian, Robbie, and Papa. Oh man, to think of who I'd be...and how small my sense of humor would be without you all.

Lastly, I am thankful for my biological family. My mom, my dad, and my brother. I've grown closer to all three of them over the past year than ever before. My brother isn't a kid anymore, and I'm thankful we have learned to get along, though it took a long time to figure it out. He's such a good man. My mom is the strongest woman I've ever met, and I wouldn't be surprised if she's officially the strongest woman to ever live, and you know what, she's almost always right! I hate that, but I love her for it. And lastly my dad...

...I'm thankful for my dad's influence in my life from the time I was a boy. I would not be in football, at Notre Dame, or anywhere close to the man I am without his influence...but I am most thankful that Dad had a better memory than he ever let on. I say that because my dad knows where to meet me when my time on earth is done. I told him, as I heard a friend tell me, to meet me at the right hand of the throne...and I'll bet you anything my dad is right there when I arrive.

So much to be thankful for. Thankful to others, but more importantly...

Thanks God!

Your boy,

Bobby

Rage against Satan

I made YouTube!!!

What did you just call me?!

I was working at Sunday School yesterday when a kind gentleman who works with us consistently came up to me with a couple of questions of how Kyle and I were running things. As I began to go into details of our mission statement, future vision, and public school outreach plan, this guy started to get HYPE! I mean he was getting fired up! I'm talkin' jumping up and down, pumping his fists, kind of fired up. And of course, his excitement bred my excitement, and I was soon leaving the floor getting jacked up. Amidst all of this excitement though, this fellow stopped dead in his tracks. Thinking something was wrong, I stopped and looked at him inquisitively. He looked me dead in the eye and said, "You know what, Bob? You sir are a contrarian."

I got ticked. How dare you call me a con...wait. "A what?" I asked.

"A contrarian," he replied. "You live your life going against every grain laid out by this world. You live your life for one reason and one reason only, to glorify your Maker, Master, and King."

Commander, huh? That makes me sound more like a soldier or barbarian than anything else. And I love that idea. Just like Erwin McManus describes in The Barbarian Way, I want to live my life "fighting for the heart of my King." There is no greater reason to live. So go ahead, call me all those words I struggle pronouncing, that's fine. I'll worry about that when God asks me to teach 9th grade English or an elective in speech.

Fighting to and through death,

Bobby

Thank God It's...Monday?

Oh yes, thank God it's Monday. I love my Monday schedule. First off, it's a day of relaxation from football. Sure I'll go grab my dvd and watch some film, but I don't have to beat myself up today...unless I want to. Secondly, and in fact more importantly, I'm at work!

I love being able to get excited about my job. I love the fact that my job is to just work with teens and help them on their walk with Christ. It doesn't get any better than that for me, and the days of the week get no better than Monday, because today I get to sit down at lunch with them and just talk life. Oh yeah, you can have your Fridays...I'll take my Mondays anytime.

Get pumped up!

Bobby

As Sure as the Sun Rises...

It also sets. And as sure as I stepped onto campus a Notre Dame athlete over four years ago, I have now culminated the last home game of my career. I never thought it would go this fast. I always thought I'd have one more play, one more series, or one more quarter. I always figured there'd be one more half, another game, or another season. But as far as home games are concerned, I have played my last snap in front of the greatest fan base in all the world. There's not one more second. As quickly as it came to be, it has gone away. Wow.

Life has thrown its share of curve balls at me over the course of time I've been at Notre Dame. But this last game was just a high fastball that whizzed by me. I sat there in the locker room looking over the course of the game, thinking about every moment from when I jacked up the student section to when I kissed the 'Play Like a Champion' sign for the last time. Sitting there, I came to this conclusion...

This game of football...this career I've been a part of...is a lot like life. So many times do we look back and see how we could have done better, and so many times do we make the same mistake twice. Sure we strive for a goal at the end of the season, but the true prize is each moment as it passes.

In my life as a Christian, Heaven is the reward I will find myself a part of someday, but it is not the only prize I will receive. A life with Christ is now, and each day I breathe, I am celebrating one more day with my Savior. Each blink of my eyes is a celebration of the sight I've been given to enjoy His beauty. Each sound that I hear resonates deeper than into my brain, but into my heart, as I enjoy all of His creation. You see, I don't have to wait until the end of my life to celebrate what has come and gone. I'll leave that to football seasons. I want to celebrate life as I breathe, and as I walk, and as I sing. Then, my soul will carry on the celebration when I see my Maker face to face.

Oh man, is that an awesome thought! I'm gonna start today. I'm going to enjoy both the rest of this season, and the rest of this life as it comes at me, and I'm going to cherish each moment as it passes. You see, that way, no curveball, slider, or high heat is going to get by me.

Keeping my eye on today's prize,

Bobby

One More Time

It has been 5 years since I played my last football game as a McKinney Lion. That's a fact. Another fact is that in two days, I play my final game in Notre Dame Stadium as a part of the Notre Dame Fighting Irish football team. While the reality of that statement still escapes me, I felt that tonight would be a good night to open up with a few emotions that have been hitting me lately.

First off, the wound of my dad's passing is being rehashed a little bit. My father was the one who pleaded with me to just tryout when I reached High School. He asked me to give it just one chance, and from that first practice, I loved football and all the things it placed in my path. He's the human being responsible, the one God used to bring me to where I am today through the sport. It burns a little bit that he isn't here to see the final chapter of my career take place. On top of that, I am going to stand in front of thousands of people tomorrow night for a picture with my mom. That's not bad, but we were supposed to do it as a family last year, but we decided against it, because we still had one more year to do it. Man, that stings. But still we'll stand. Oh, you better believe we'll stand. If for nothing else than a testimony to the power that comes from a life filled with Christ, we will stand together.

Secondly, I'm feeling really old. This year has been tough at ND for me, because I don't know anyone on campus. I mean last year, even with me off campus, I had several classmates who I could spot in the seats at the Pep Rally or in the student section after the game. Now, I look into those seats and I see a group of people that won't even say hello to me as I walk through campus. Not because they don't care, but because I've already graduated. My peers are out there working, and I'm postponing life.

The third emotion I feel is much happier than the previous two. I feel overcome by a spirit of joy. From where I've been, to what I've seen, and who I've come across in the process of it all, I rejoice that God has had His hand on my shoulder every step of this path less traveled. I can't wake up in the morning without thanking my Heavenly Father for lighting up one more step in front of me so that I may know which way to go. I'm thankful for His Grace and Mercy that I see everyday in my life. I also rejoice in the relationships I've found along the way. From friendships, to a brotherhood, to everything else, I feel so blessed that I've been brought here, to NW Indiana, to come into the lives of those around me. For as I've passed through the campuses of Bethel and Notre Dame, and as I've rooted myself in at Grace Church of Granger, every relationship has left me with something that I'd not had before. I am truly a changed man, and I will be different tomorrow than I am as I write now.

The final emotion I want to mention is the longest to explain. As I sit here at my table, working on my laptop, listening to David Crowder, I am flooded with anticipation. Not just a little bit. I'm FLOODED!!! Now, that seems pretty obvious that I'd be anticipating our game on Saturday, but it's so much more than this game. The realization that I won't put on that Blue Jersey again has me anticipating everything from the last few games to starting school again, finding love, and living life! I mean, come on! The end of this chapter could be the sweetest ending I've ever read. But more than that, it could be the most exciting start to a chapter ever written. Why? Because from here, where do we go? Myself, I'll be in the Bend for at least six months, working at Grace, but that could turn into a long-term thing (please God?). In step with that, I'll be going back to seminary here sometime, either part time or full time, depending on the work situation. In the midst of all of this, I feel God preparing me for a relationship again. Not trying to seek or anything, but I feel my heart being strengthened and convicted in areas that haven't been addressed in a long time (Jokingly, I'm not thrilled...I'll explain another day). God's got something in store for me, and the end of this chapter of my life is causing me to face up to just how BIG it could be. Oh man, I'm jacked up. God, I give you all I am. Take me and use me how you see fit.

Sorry for getting off on that tangent, but seriously, get excited! Maybe you're in the middle of a chapter with life right now, but God still has some awesome stuff planned. Tune in! Okay, gonna wipe the tears and clean the apartment.

Feel the Flood,

Bobby

So You Had a Bad Day...

Alright, let me preface this post by noting this...I am an overly happy individual. I understand that days exist when we are to face trials and tribulations and suffer for Christ, but I end up with a smile on my face more times than not. It is actually quite difficult for me to understand that we do in fact live in the real world and people aren't always "chipper."

Now, I'll be honest. My first instinct is to buy some wood and help these "less than chipper" individuals build a bridge so they can get over the river they're cryin', but I'm working every day to be more empathetic. I've been really challenged recently on this empathy and also on how to identify and help those in need of assistance. Some people just need space, others need counsel, and even more just need prayer, and I want to be there for all of the above.

I used to have a goal in life of making everyone around me smile. The only problem with this is that I lost a lot of respect and credibility the way I'd make people smile and laugh (usually it happened at the expense of others). My new goal is to spread joy. Sure I'd love people to smile, but I want their hearts to shine first, and their faces to smile second. This new approach seems to do much more for my relationships with others than the former one.

That's all I got for today. I'll be back later!

Still smilin',
Bobby

Holding #76

Oh, how I hate those words! And I've heard them enough times in my collegiate career to know exactly how small a 300 lb. lineman can feel. But this past week at Air Force could have been the worst I've felt in a long time. The reason? There was nothing I could do!

It was the third drive, and we'd already shown that we couldn't be stopped. A tricky blitz came, I picked up my guy, but when another guy came free and I tried to hit him, my facemask got caught on the back of his shoulder pad. Even though my hands were free, I impeded his motion towards the ball, and that stinkin' yellow flag flew high and bright for all to see. I'm sure the camera even got super close to my face, showing my mom I haven't been using Proactiv recently. Man! I just got so mad, because it wasn't my fault! Or was it...?

You see, my hands never really grabbed the cloth of that defensive end's jersey, but I did however get myself into a position where there wasn't anything I could do to get out of the situation. I took one too many steps down the slippery slope, and my technique could not recover. I'll take this as a lesson in life, though, because there will be moments where there's no other option than a "not good" one. It is up to me to make decisions prior to that one to make sure I never get there. I just have to keep myself out of that situation, I have to keep my head back and facemask free.

Just a thought,

Bobby

Turn it Upside Down

Check this out...I wish more ads were like this.

The Mystery of Saying I'm Sorry

Why is it so hard to apologize? I mean, half the time the person has already forgiven us, and most of the other half of the time, they've completely forgotten about the situation. Why does it still kill us to buck up and say "I'm Sorry?"

I had a situation this week where I lost my cool. It was at the end of a day where I felt God had empowered each one of my words and steps, and I felt I could do no wrong. I should've known as soon as I had that thought that I was about to slip up. It reminded me of learning to ride a bike when I was younger. As soon as I told my dad to let go of the seat, I should've known I was headed for the thornbushes.

I had just finished outwardly witnessing to several important members of my life (relationship withheld), and I had gone into the other room (location withheld) for a minute. When I returned, I found several of these important members doing their best impression of the words I had just spoken. I was being flat out mocked. That being bad enough, one of the more prominent members made a comment saying that in my own comments, I was limiting God's power. That statemtent made me jump off the edge.

I raised my voice, and I defended my stance. But beyond that, I completely ruined the testimony I had just shared with them. I left that location and those members with a sinking in my heart that was unbearable. I was restless all night and it was only at work the next day that I realized what had to be done. I had to go right back to those people and apologize.

I was in agony the entire day thinking of the conversation I was to have. I was so scared that I'd make it even worse, and that I'd make it so God could not overcome my messups. But when I got back to the part of the day I spend with those people, the conversation went nothing like I'd imagined. I was hugged and appreciated. Some of them had forgotten it had happened. It was such a relief that our relationships weren't finished. What's even more is that God showed me very soon after that moment that He was not done working there.

I know this is basic, and not very climactic, but let me just say that there is power in admitting we're not perfect. In studying meekness, I learned that only when we see ourselves for who we really are can we be filled with every bit of Christ that His plan entails. All I can say is, Fill Me Up!

To the Brim,

Bobby

Shark Attack

I hate sharks. The thought of them has kept me out of oceans and large bodies of water for the majority of my life. Occasionally, I'll wade out a bit, but as soon as anything out of the ordinary touches my foot, leg, or behind, I am dried off in a hurry. Let me tell you why...

Sharks are perfect. As far as ocean predators go, they are simply perfect. 12 to 14 feet of pure, ripping muscle, razor sharp teeth, and one bad attitude makes them pure killing machines.


What if we, as Christians, could be viewed as sharks by Satan? What if he looked into our eyes and saw people built of pure muscle fueled by the Gospel, teeth as sharp as the Sword of the Spirit, and one amazing attitude of eternal perspective. What if he looked at us and saw pure LIVING machines?

Then, my friends, we could change the face of this entire ocean.

Swim on,

Bobby

Sledgehammer

Have you ever felt like God wanted to make a point in your heart so badly that he just hit it with a sledgehammer? I mean, I don't want to make God sound sadistic, but I think he really wanted to get my attention in a certain area this week. What's more, it was a subject that I was delivering a sermon about last night, so every word that came out of my mouth last night rehashed the reality of my experience over the past few days.

I can't complain, though. The smack was laid down on a subject that's very tough for me, and I have known for a lengthy time that I needed to work on it. You see, I was just struck by the true meaning of meekness this week. The definition of the word that started it all was "strength under control." Wow! I mean, man! Those three words don't usually go together in my book. When I feel strongest in football or in anything else, I'm usually out of control. Come on, haven't you seen me before a football game? I'm not exactly in my right mind.

You see, I've always confused meekness with quietness, mild mannerism, and even weakness, and it is quite the contrary on all accounts. Studying the lives of the likes of Moses, David, and Paul made me realize that a truly "barbaric" lifestyle (one that pays no regard to society, but only to God) cannot begin without controlling the strength within yourself, and even more, having that true view of yourself. Man! I do not want to look in that mirror, because I know what I look like without Christ. What an ugly picture!

Okay, I can rant about this for hours, but to keep this shorter than it could be let me conclude. I feel the first part of meekness is that look in the mirror; It is that identifying the true value of oneself. The second part of meekness is the destruction of that mirror when that person is filled with the spirit of Christ, and their value is that of the Son of God. Well, my mirror is shattered, but I've just caught a reflection of my value without Christ in one of those little shards on the floor...and I'm still as disgusting as ever when I try to do it on my own. Fill me up today, Jesus.

Stay Strong,

Bobby

Looking for love? There are no right places...

You know, I've been a relationship counselor to many a people/couples in my time as a teenager and adult, and I've only learned one thing from all of those experiences as a knowledgable informer. That one thing, is that I have no idea how to handle finding love. Seriously, I have no idea how to go about finding that one person who is so perfect for you, you're forced to wonder where on earth they've been for the past somany years. And I think that's exactly what God has been trying to teach me...

For so long, I've wondered how I was to find love, where I should go, who on earth should I seek. All the while the answers were so simple. I should seek nowhere and no one on earth to find love. My attention must be diverted upwards. You see, seeking God is the only way to find TRUE love. I mean, come on, God himself IS Love. And yet I still struggle with turning away from Love itself to find my own definition.

I was speaking with my good friend Jeff (haha, the secret is you don't know which one), and we were talking about love and relationships and the like. And I felt God really lay something on my heart, which I plan on carrying on through my single life, through my dating life, and into my marriage. That something is this: I want to glorify God in all that I do, and I want to use my life only to serve him the best that I can.

Someday, I am going to meet someone that, through the course of some uncertain amount of time, I will realize I can better serve God with that person holding a different place in my life. When I truly realize that this one person can make a huge difference in how I serve the Lord, only then will I realize that it's time to move to the next course of action, still keeping in mind that true Love still comes vertically, not horizontally.

Until then however, I plan on Looking for Life, not love. Because when you take the time to look for love, you always seem to lose opportunities to show it.

Love you,
Bobby